53 Ways To Annoy Erik
by GoodnessCoconuts
Summary: Based off of TheFopHuntress's story. Let's see how much Shadowin can annoy Erik! Read and review, please. K for a teensy bit of language, but rating will most likely go up.
1. Chapter 1

"Shadowin! Where are my clothe--" Erik started, then froze mid-sentence as he crossed the threshold of Shadowin's room. There his apprentice sat, rubbing one of Erik's shirts against her cheek.

"Ah! M-Master!" Shadowin gasped, leaping to her feet. "Uh… I'm sorry! This isn't what it looks like!"

"Then what is it?!" Erik asked angrily, gesturing to the other garments on the floor.

"Oh, I just wanted you to give me swimming lessons--"

"Finally, something acceptable!"

"--naked…."

"…"

For one horrible, tense second, there was silence throughout the entire Opera House. Then, with a screech that could be heard in the streets of Paris…

"NO!!! _NEVER_! _GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOU TERRIBLE CHILD_!" Erik roared.

~ Two Hours Later ~

"Shadowin?" Erik asked quietly, poking his head into the room. He bit his lip when he saw his apprentice sitting on the edge of her bed, sniffling. "Shadowin…? Look, I'm sorry about yelling at you." The Phantom blushed and looked down. He wasn't used to apologizing to people.

Shadowin turned to him, wiping her eyes. "T-That's okay, Master. It was out of line for me to say such things. Will you… still teach me piano and singing?"

"Of course!" Erik said, sitting next to her. "I would never leave you hanging with so much potential. Just… lay off the swimming thing, okay?" Shadowin nodded happily. "Good. I'm going to take a bath now."

A couple of minutes later, Erik lay down in the warm water, relaxing. 'Finally, somewhere where that thing can't bother me…!' In truth, Erik loved Shadowin very much. She was just… a bit young for him. He also hadn't gotten over Christine yet. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and before Erik could ask, Shadowin strutted in, eyes wide open.

"Bubble bath, Master?"

"AWAUGH!!!"

**Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note Author's Note**

**Shadowin: First chapter done! Disclaimer here: Don't own Erik or POTO, and 53 Ways was written by TheFopHuntress, not me.**

**Erik: I hate you, apprentice.**

**Slade: But... she's my apprentice!**

**Robin: But... she's my girlfriend!**

**Harry: WHAT?! She's my girlfriend!**

**Percy: WHAT?! She's my sister!**

**Luke: But... she's my ex-girlfriend!**

**Poseidon: - pops in - WHAT IS GOING ON?!**

**Shadowin: My cue to leave! - runs off -**

**Erik, Slade, Robin, Harry, Percy, and Poseidon: WAIT, COME BACK!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Shadowin: Another chhhhapter!!!!!**

**Harry: I'm not saying the disclaimer!**

**Shadowin: Fine, Nico will!**

**Nico: Shadowin does not own POTO. There.**

**Percy: Now onto the sto--**

**Shadowin: Percy, Little Lotte wants to marry you.**

**Percy: I REFUSE!!!**

**Annabeth: HE REFUSES!!! - takes out bronze knife -**

**Shadowin: No hurting the reviewers!!**

**Annabeth: Pfft, your precious reviewers!**

**Shadowin: - takes out Firetide - Rrrrr!**

**Nico: CHAPTER STARTS NOW!!! - sounds of catfight -**

**~*^*~**

The next morning, Shadowin walked into the kitchen, stretching. She wore her black sleeping shorts and a long-sleeved white t-shirt. She smiled her usual smile at her Master, and Erik scowled at her. "You're not off the hook for that ploy," the Phantom growled. Shadowin pouted and went off to cook. She paused when she saw Luke flipping some pancakes. The black-haired boy looked at her with his baleful glare. She shrugged and sat next to Minnie, who was leaving that morning for another trip to a different country.

After breakfast, Luke went upstairs for his musical rehearsals. His voice wasn't developed enough for opera yet, but he participated in smaller-scale productions run by the Opera Populaire. Minnie boarded her bus to the airport.

Which left Shadowin and Erik.

You know what's next.

You do.

Erik, sweating fearful bullets, rushed back into his lair, realizing that he'd left his apprentice alone for five seconds. 'Not good not good not good!' he thought, half-crazed.

"Hey, hey, Master, I found a necklace! It come with a ta~il!" Shadowin sang. Erik paled. Around her neck was his Punjab lasso.

"Put it down, Shadowin!" the Phantom yelped. Shadowin frowned and tried to take is off, pulling on the excess rope. She gagged as the lasso tightened. Running over, Erik yanked at the trail and lifted it over the girl's head. "You will _not_ play with my lasso again, Shadowin!" he snarled. Shadowin nodded, face white as Erik's mask.

Suddenly, Shadowin lunged forwards and yanked Erik's mask off.

"_SHADOWIN_!" Erik roared. He yanked the mask back. "Never, under _any_ circumstances, remove any article that I wear!"

"Sorry, Master. It was the ADHD," Shadowin explained, sweatdropping. "I didn't mean to be a turd like the Vicomte de Chagny, Raoul."

Erik gaped. Not only had she said the words, but she'd used them all in one sentence! Dragging his unruly ward into the bathroom, he sat her on the edge of the tub and proceeded to wash out her mouth with a bar of soap, causing Shadowin to splutter suds all over the floor.

That night, Erik lay in his coffin/bed, trying to unwind. It had been another hard day with Shadowin. That crazy child gave him a run for his money. Good thing Luke was gentle and well-behaved, or he would have gone over the edge long ago ( he swore that the whole Christine thing was just a phase ). Yes, the Phantom was perfectly relaxed….

"I had a _nightmare_!"

"Shadowin," Erik growled into the darkness. "Get. Out. Of. My. Coffin."

"But I'm _scared_!"

"Get. Out. Go stay with Luke or something!"

"He'll kill me!" Shadowin whimpered.

"LEAVE!!"

"NO!!" Oh jeez, that girl could screech…!

And Erik's peaceful night was brilliantly shattered.

**~*^*~**

**Shadowin: That was fun!!!**

**Percy: Shadowin!**

**Shadowin: What?**

**Percy: Dad sent you a letter.**

**Shadowin: - frowns and reads letter -**

**Poseidon's voice: Go clean your room... cabin... thingy!**

**Shadowin: Wah! No updates for a few days! That thing is a mess!**

**Nico: Your fault.**

**Shadowin: - throws pudding at him -**

**Tyson: PUDDING! - eats -**

**Erik: THIS IS MY STORY!!!**

**Shadowin: - Sparta kicks him - MY STORY NOW!!!**

**Erik: Sorry, Your Majesty.**

**Poseidon's voice: YOUR ROOM!!**

**Shadowin: Authoress must bow to will of the gods. - runs off -**

**Erik: Taking back my sto~ry!**

**Percy: AUTHOR'S NOTE IS TOO LONG!!!**

**Christine: End it now!**

**Raoul: Ye--**

**Erik: FOP!! - Punjabs -**

**Raoul: - death -**

**Erik: I WIN!!! Review!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Shadowin: It's coming, it's coming!**

**Mistoffelees: Here it comes, here it comes!**

**Eragon: Almost here, almost here!**

**Luke: Here it is, here it is!**

**All: Enjoy this chapter!**

**~*^*~**

"Erik! Erik, I did something wrong!"

'It must be really bad if she's using my first name,' Erik thought, climbing out of his coffin. "What is--" He was cut off as he stepped out… into waist deep water. A blur shot past him, fast even in the lapping waves, and leapt into the coffin. The Phantom flinched away from the speedy movement, surprised.

"Shadowin, you don't use the coffin as a boat!"

Shadowin had tears in her eyes. "Pppplease! I'm scared!" Erik shook his head and sighed, angry with his apprentice once again. He waded over.

"The swan bed is more fitting," he pointed out. The smug look slipped off of his face as Shadowin became nervous and started squirming, rocking the boat-- er, _coffin_. "What did you do, Shadowin Hedgehog?" he asked in his mad voice. Shadowin shrunk back.

"I sold it on eBay."

"_Why would you do that_?!"

"I WANTED TO SLEEP IN THE COFFIN WITH YOU!!!!"

The girl's words echoed across the water. Erik looked ready to explode. "Shadowin," he hissed. "Pump all of the water out of here. Right now. With some buckets. I'll go get some for you." Shadowin looked upset but nodded.

A few minutes later...

Erik looked up and dropped the bucket he was putting away.

There, in all of her beauty, stood Christine. "C-C-C--"

"Erik!" she said, in a slightly wavering and high-pitched voice. "I've come back for you, my love."

'My love?' Nearly bursting with fury, Erik shouted, "Shadowin! Get out of the Christine costume!" The sulking teen walked away, rejected. Suddenly, a loud noise floated to his ears.

"Mm… Erik. I'm glad I left Christine for _you_…."

"SHADOWIN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Erik screamed at the top of his lungs. Shadowin showed him her laptop's screen. Needless to say, her mouth was once again washed out with soap, but it didn't wash away Erik's permanent mental scarring. He walked away with an everlasting twitch.

One day a couple of weeks later, Erik and Shadowin were returning from a day with Madame Giry. Shadowin was jumpy, so Erik knew some random outburst was quick on its way. He shook his head and stepped into the gondola, helping Shadowin into it. She started fidgeting even more as he paddled. 'Here she comes….'

"SAVE THE GONDOLA! RIDE THE PHANTOM!"

Erik nearly passed out right then and there. "CHILD, WHY ARE YOU SO RANDOM!"

"I'M AFRAID OF THE ZOO! THE GOATS TRIED TO KILL ME!"

Sigh....

**~*^*~**

**Shadowin: Did you like it? I just had to get the next chapter up! You know, before I continue my Cats fanfiction!**

**Misto: Oooo! Am I in it? Am I in it?**

**Macavity: Am I? Please say no.**

**Shadowin: Haha, yes! You're both in it!**

**Misto: Yay!**

**Macavity: Oh Everlasting Cat, no!**

**Eragon: Review! ( Shadowin will never write a fanfiction about me... wah. )**


End file.
